The New Year

With this new year many of us have high expectations for the next 366 days. Many of us make New Year resolutions like Losing Weight or changing the kind of person you are. It all sounds like a good idea. But truth is that the New Year resolutions are filled with false promises. False promises to yourself and to other people. Yeah everyone tells you how you should hang out more. But how many people actually mean it? Chances are likely that you won't change and hardly anyone else will. The changes of someone sticking with a new yeares resolution are low. Most people forget the resolutions that they made. This is because most of the resolutions are not thought through. Many of them are just on the spot resolutions.
2011 was quite an interesting year for me. It started by moving out of my parents house. A move that was greatly pushed on by my ex. I wasn't sure if I was ready with being at the ripe age of 19. Most of my other friends still lived with their parents. After the move things started off great in the year and I couldn't have been happier with the things going on. Everything was going well in my life, lots of hours at work and made the Presidents list at school. When summer came around I started experiencing some major knee pains and some back pain as well. I attributed this to just getting worn out at work. The increase in hours must be getting to me.

In August my ex broke up with me. She wanted to do it over text and I told her that it needed to be done in person. Well maybe that wasn't such a good idea because I got so pissed off that I had punched a wall at work (and put a hole in). My hand started to swell up and turned purple down the side. It was not a good day for me. Over the next month I had stopped eating, sleeping well, and being myself. It had seemed that my world had come crashing down. That is when attempt #2 took place. The knee pain and back pain started to get significantly worse so I decided to go to the doctor's. After 2 months of constant doctor's visits, several x-rays and mri's they found out that I have a disease in my lower back (degenerative disc disease) and it is going up my back. They are hoping that self treatment will help (yeah right).

In late August my brother married the love of his life. High school sweethearts. Two people that I wish I could model my love after. That month they did so much for me. If it wasn't for them and a few of my friends I would have never made it to this place in my life. I love them more than anything in my life.

In late September one of my best friends from Baker passed away in a car accident (RIP Brian). Just when I thought that this end of the year couldn't get any worse my Grandfather had passed away. (RIP Grandpa). I took that pretty hard. Although I couldn't shed a tear at his funeral. I keep telling myself that it is because I had to be strong for my older brother. I had also found out that my ex's parents had gone to his visitation. A visitation that I could not bring myself to attend. That meant more to me than I could ever express to them.

In November I found out that I have a muscle deterioration on my right knee. One that I have to do daily exercises for. Because of this I have a hard time walking, although I show to everyone that I am fine. I usually drug up before work so I don't feel any of the pain and no one will know anything is wrong.

In December I thought that I was going to be alone on Christmas. I was told by a little voice in my head that "If someone is alone on Christmas it means that no one loves them". About a week before Christmas I had gotten an invite from my brother to come stay at his house the entire weekend. So I did. While there I got an invite from my ex's parents to come be with them on Christmas Eve and that Amanda would not be there. I accepted. I had wrote each of them a letter, each of them saying different things. Doug and Wendy's stating how much I cared for them and that I loved them. Amanda's telling her that I hope everything in her life is done with success. And Sam's stating that he is a brilliant individual.

For New Years I got to spend the night with some of my best friends. Bryce, Kevin, and Jessica. I could not have asked to a better last day to end an otherwise horrible last half of a year. Somethings are just hard to overcome.