The Edge of Broken

I was breaking in your arms
never thought I'd be the one
to take this burden and make it my  own.

You saw me fall
and watched me crawl
right into the abyss
that took me away from all of this

now that I lie here bleeding
you will find that I have lost all meaning
and I am tired of bleeding
for those that have killed this inside

Now I won't say that I've been beat
or simply being defeated
but rather I am winning
at my own game

You think that I have been weakened
but I will prove you wrong
no matter what it takes
I will show you I'm the one

And through everything...

You saw me fall
and watched me crawl
right into the abyss
that took me away from all of this

There wasn't a shed of doubt
that this would be what kills me
I lost it all when I lost you
these words never not ring true

So I will rise back from these ashes
and watch as you all stare in disbelief
Things will never be the same,
but why should they?

You were taken from me
in a way that cannot be matched
I hate that this had to happen
But it is something we couldn't stop

Autumn nights

  I realize I have not posted in over 2 months. Quite a bit has happened since then, but this will just be a quick overview. I have gained multiple friends over the last few months. 4 that I know for sure that I could never lose. Taiylor, Leslie and Jess. Jess is like my little sister already, amazing how 2 people can connect. Taiylor, is this wonderful girl that I am beginning to understand more and more. Leslie is a friend that I can talk to, about nothing in particular, and still not get bored. And then there is Devin, just an all around great guy.

So Deep

This last week has been on of the most amazing of this summer. It has been one of the few weeks that I have fully enjoyed, one that I can truly not complain about. Mainly because I have gained a new friend that is awesome to talk to. It helps just being able to talk to someone. Even if you aren't talking about anything in particular, just being able to talk. Having friends there for you is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. I have started talking to another friend more often as well, so it has been an overall great weekend. I recently have discovered a thing called Tinychat, and it has done wonders I guess.

I'll be gone

For far too long I have been trying to force something that will never happen. Trying to fight for something that doesn't exist. I finally realized this way too late. I don't know what made me realize this, but something that happened recently did. I am glad that it happened. Waking up to that kind of reality is really uplifting. Waking up and realizing that you are no longer tied down to someone or something is an amazing feeling. I don't have to worry about anything anymore.

Sorry this is short. Cya.

I'm alive when I'm missing you

Right now I would be lying if I said that everything was okay. At the same time I would be lying if I said that I wasn't happy. Things are finally looking up for me. No other way to put it. My friends are becoming happier, I am becoming happier, things just take some time I guess. I am way to stubborn to have let any of this really keep me down for long. These last couple of months really have been a toll on me, but I believe that I have grown so much because of them. I know that a lot of my posts have been on more of a depressing side of things, but I am here to tell you I am finally happy! Have a great night people :)

P.S. I love you..

Small Update

So here is a small update. Sorry I have not been writing in this, but this last week has been a rough one. My Grandma Borton passed away on Monday, right before I was about to go see her. So I am truly sorry for not being able to post.

Thanks for understanding.

Tomorrow Never Comes

What I have learned well in the last 6 months. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Nothing is. This is a hard lesson to learn, and it is one that I may have to be reminded of everyday. It is also a lesson that I do not want to learn again. These last 6 months have been hell. My friend told me that I should probably talk to someone about it. No one would understand. Besides that, having trust issues doesn't really help in telling a complete stranger everything. Hell, I don't even post everything I am feeling here. I just have one problem right now. If everything happens for a reason, what is the reason? I wish someone could answer this question for me...