Why?

Why is it that when I desperately need someone to talk to there is no one there? But if someone needs me I am always there. These last two days have been horrible for me. Yesterday I found out that I have a bad back, and my best friend had to go to the hospital. Then today I find out that I have two, yes two, bad discs in in my lower back. Even though I am scared shitless I have to put on a face that says I am not scared. That I have everything under control. Sometimes that is the hardest thing to do. Truth is I just need someone here for me... guess that is impossible at this point.